✖ Narsissist Collection✖️
sometimes you leave a place and the farther away you get from it the more things you seem to remember, except it’s not really memories, it’s your mind playing tricks, constructing narratives you wish were real and it’s all fine and well and great really, except, you’re far away and longing for a place that doesn’t really exist. you’re in a foreign city and alone and it seems like there was a time and a place where darkness held more than emptiness and home was a feeling and not just a cold bed and a light that flickers.
sometimes you leave a place, but you don’t leave it, not really, you carry it with you, like sand in your palms and it trickles down, down, down, and you try to hold on, but then you look around and you realize that you’re waist deep in the sea and you swim and you find that maybe you were meant to be a fish. the shore was never your home. the sand was weighing you down.
sometimes you leave a place.
sometimes you leave a place and sometimes you go back and sometimes you find everything’s the same, but it feels different, it feels like there’s glass between you and everything you touch and people are speaking in a language you no longer understand and they smile differently and yes, that’s lines on your friends’ faces, and yes, you have them too. time.
sometimes you leave a place and sometimes you go back and everything’s different.
sometimes you leave a place and never go back.
one time, after many sometimes, you’ll realize it’s the people you love, not places, and home can be anywhere, anyplace, just find someone to build pillow forts with you and eat ice cream at dawn and laugh, laugh, laugh until it’s laughter that’s trickling down your palms.